"Advocatus Diaboli."

Oh gods... he's found me. "The Blade of Frontiers," I say ominously.

The rapier comes loose and he points it at me. "Your time has come. I'll not have you endangering the people on the material plane."

"But, that's not what I'm doing!" I reluctantly pull my axe and grip the handle.

He watches the blade as it settles in front of me.

"Look, I just wanted to get out of the Hells. You've seen what it's like. It's... well... the Hells! Flaming lakes. Tricky devils. Not a kind heart for miles. I just want a moment of peace. Please, we don't have to do this!"

"Tricky devils." His hand glows with infernal power. "And it's my job to send them back to where they came from."

I'm blasted and hit the dirt, hard. Then the glint of a rapier plunges down and I manage to roll out of the way as it strikes the ground. I knock him in the chin with the back of my axe and he flies back.

"Stop, Wyll!" I jump to my feet, only to be struck by a strong necrotic power. Arms pull at me, taking pieces of my hope away. I stagger back, pulling free from the spell.

He's on me once again, I block his rapier and he slides into me, blade to axe shaft.

"You're heartless, Karlach," he says through gritted teeth. "There's no way I could trust the word of a fiend like you."

I gasp. "Rude! I have a heart... somewhere."

He pushes off me and regains his footing. He hums with the necrotic power once more and I retreat. As I run, I grab a soul coin from my pocket.

I can't.

I shouldn't.

I glance back. He's on my heels.

...I press the coin into a slot in my chest, and a fire ignites around me. My engine roars. I get a firm grip on my axe hilt, then spin. He ducks, and my axe whizzes over his head.

He lunges and with a touch I feel my limbs wobble and my grip become less sturdy.

I know this feeling... I've been Baned. I hate it. My vision blurs and I begin swinging. My axe finally cracks into something, and I hear a body hit dirt.

Everything falls quiet. No boots. No blades. No monologue.

I fall to my knees, sick and dizzy. My engine is still working overtime, but it begins to slow. My vision clears, and Wyll's body lies motionless below me.

I... I've killed him.

Oh gods... Gods damn it all. Why in the Hells wouldn't he listen?

Why Wyll? Why. I want to understand...

I can’t stand the feeling of his blood on me. The weight of my axe is unbearable. I drop it and grip my knees.

Who in the Hells sent this poor man on me?

I don't want to see him crumpled on the ground like this. Let me just roll him onto his back, make him look dignified at least. The moment I turn him, my cheeks sizzle as my tears get boiled away. My tail is kicking up dirt. Nothing like being both dusty and sad.

Let me put his arms on his chest, maybe? Where's his rapier? There. He looks a lot better, gripping his hilt like a proper warrior.

...

Now what? Do I leave him here? Should I bury him? Where? What could I possibly do to make it up to him?

"I didn't want to kill you, Wyll." I can't stop my voice from shaking. "It's important to me that you know that." I run my arm under my nose and sniff.

I hear a twig snap, and a peachy tiefling tail disappears into the tree line. Weird...

Then a march of boots. Gods. Busy road.

"Well... it looks like we've finally cornered you, devil."

"Anders? What are you doing here?"

"That's a rather stupid question."

"...Oh. Right."

He looks at the body on the ground and scoffs. "The man didn't know what he was getting into. But we know exactly what you are." He pulls his sword and I grunt as I slowly climb to my feet.

My engine begins to rev up again. The flames from the soul coin erupt. "Let's finish this."

Anders and I clash blades. As we duel, two more from his posse emerge from the trail behind him. I'm outnumbered. Not a problem, I've been through worse... but gods... something's wrong with my engine... I'm moving slower than normal.

Two arrows hit me dead center, but my engine eats them like hot pie. "Heh. Nice try." I see an opening and slam Ander's face into the ground, knocking him out. Then I charge the archer. She staggers back, before I get locked in a magical hold.

FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

The evil wizard woman walks up to me and raises a dagger.

My brain begins to tickle as my worm guy wiggles. Then an arrow collides with the wizard's ward and shatters into splinters. The wizard hesitates; attention focused on the hostile forces to the left. I can barely see her from the corner of my eye.

Peachy tail.

She turns toward someone I can't get a glimpse of. "He's getting up!"

A buttery voice answers. "A mistake."

Thank the gods. Cocky weirdos. I'm safe.

She grins and grabs another arrow from her quiver. It collides with the wizard's ward and detonates with a thunderclap. The wizard is blown to the ground and the hold on me flickers and fades.

"Oh, it is ON!"

The wizard blocks her face as I slam my axe down on her.

Anders blows past me, running up the trail. I finally get to see Buttery Voice. Big dude. Bigger sword. Bad news for Anders. They disappear into a toll house just up the path.

There is a loud scuffle. Then I hear Anders' shouting. I jump as the windows are blown out in a blink of red light.

"What in the Hells?" I look toward Peachy. She's pulling an arrow from the archer's chest.

"A smite," she says.

"That was a smite? That's not a smite. That's a war crime."

She glances up, wiping the blood from the arrowhead. "We should check to see if he's alright."

"You mean he might not be?! Oh gods!" I begin to jog and Peachy follows me.

I kick open the door and Buttery is standing over Anders' body, face bloodied, eye swollen. He's pulling the golden greatsword from Anders' hand.

"Excuse me."

I notice Peachy is trying to get by and I make room.

"Here." She hands him a healing potion.

"Thank you." He bites the cork off and downs it. He closes his eyes and breathes a moment before focusing on me.

A chill runs through me. The man's got one weird eye. He's dressed in a trenchcoat. He's built like a tank. Possibly another veteran, like me. He looks haunted, and he just survived a building explosion that he caused.

This guy isn't buttery. He's fucking spooky.

"Do you serve the Absolute?"

My mind begins spinning. I have no fucking idea what he's talking about.

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about."

Peachy seems relieved by whatever that means.

Spooks looks at her. "She's infected and protected. It has plans for her. I'm not surprised. Good catch."

"What are you talking about?" I shift my footing. Not a big fan of people talking behind my back in front of me.

He holds out the golden sword, handing it to me. "Are you familiar with a goddess called the Absolute?"

I take it and turn it over in my hand. "No?" This is a nice sword...

"You are infected with an illithid tadpole. By rights, you should be enthralled to this new goddess. My party and I are all infected, but we are in possession of a prism that protects us from the goddess' influence. It chooses who to protect.

It chose you."

"Me? Damn. That's awful nice of it. But... why me?"

"We all have one thing in common. We are weapons."

"Ah. Well, it sure knows how to pick 'em!" I flex playfully and Peachy hides a grin.

"I'm Vash, and this is Bex."

"I'm Karlach. Very nice to meet you both."

Peachy straps her bow to her back. "We should head back to camp. I think we've had enough adventuring for one night." She places a hand on my elbow and snatches her hand back. "Ah!"

"Oh! No! I am so sorry, Peachy!"

She grips her wrist. "Peachy?"

Spooks immediately pulls a potion from his trenchcoat and dumps it on her hand.

"You didn't have to use the whole thing," she murmurs.

"I did." He leans down, checking her hand.

They're adorable. "You two make a cute couple."

I feel the air get sucked out of the conversation. Oops...

Peachy clears her throat. "Thank you, but we're not a couple. I'm married."

Spooks straightens his lips.

Aww, poor spooky man. Ah well, we can't have it all.

"I should have mentioned it earlier." I pound my chest. "I have an infernal engine for a heart. I burn like a furnace."

"Gods," she stares at the glow of the engine behind my ribs. "I thought I smelled infernal machinery. Doesn't that hurt?"

"Naw!" I wave away her concerns. "I can handle it. Just be careful."

"Noted." She flexes her fingers.

I glance back at Wyll's body and my heart wrenches. "...Hey. I know we just met but... Can you two help me out?"

Peachy puts a hand to her chest. "I'm sorry your friend has fallen."

"He... yeah. Thank you."

Spooks is already scanning the ground, finding a spot back from the riverbank. Peachy hands him a shovel and he begins to dig. The hole he makes is done quickly and surprisingly clean. High quality grave hole. It's what Wyll deserves.

This is it. I think I'll be able to sleep better knowing I did him right, even after I did him wrong. Best not to dwell. I pick him up and place him in his perfect little hole. I should say a few words.

"To the realms he was The Blade of Frontiers. But I saw him. Wyll. A good kid who was led astray."

Peachy places two coins over his eyes. "May Kelemvor judge him fairly."

She clasps her hands and bows her head.

"Nice touch," I mutter.

I stare at Wyll for a bit longer before feeling the back of my throat growing tight. Spooks gathers a shovel full of dirt when a faint squealing comes from Wyll's body. He swiftly sets the shovel down.

"You may want to turn away," he says.

Peachy shifts back. "What are you going to do?"

He looks at her and speaks softly. "He has a tadpole. I need to retrieve it."

"A tadpole?" I say. "Like the one we have? Gods that explains a lot."

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"I'm sorry. But..."

"Right." I turn my back and Peachy follows. She has a grim look on her face as we wait.

I hear a soft pop and a lot of wet noises. Then that squealing sound again. It's quickly muffled. The scraping sound of a shovel against dirt follows.

I feel... better.

We make it to their camp near the riverbank. A white dog runs up to Spooks, wagging and barking.

"Scratch, I'm glad you decided to join us. Are you alright?"

The dog whines and Spooks kneels, scratching him under the chin. "We can take care of him tomorrow. I've done enough grave digging for one night. Please, make yourself at home."

The dog barks and trots over to Peachy who smiles and gently pats between his ears. "What are we going to do when we get to Baldur's Gate? Dogs aren't allowed in the city."

"Scratch is a courier's dog. His credentials should be enough to let him pass."

"Hah. Of course. Strictly business."

Spooks smiles and turns to me. "Settle down anywhere. I imagine it's been a long day for you."

"You're not kidding." I set my pack down in a nice little clearing. Flat terrain. I kick a few rocks aside and it's home sweet home. Gods, that feels good to say.

"Would you like a cigar?" Spooks is headed toward a large canvas tent on the edge of camp. That's his tent. Look at those straight-ass guylines. I bet they could snap an apple in half if you plucked one.

"You. Have. Cigars? Did I die and wake up in Elysium?"

He grins and walks off. I finish setting up my camp and sit with Spooks and Peachy by the fire. There are other tents, but no one else seems to be awake.

I take in a heavy mouthful from the cigar and let the smoke sit on my tongue for a moment before exhaling. I turn the cigar in my hand. "These are delicious, Spooks, where did you get them?"

He lights his and embers flare as he gets it going. With a breath he raises a brow. "Spooks? Peachy and Spooks?"

I smile bashfully. "Yeah! Her skin is very peachy, and you..." I hesitate.

He watches me as he pulls another mouthful of smoke.

"I mean... well. You have a presence." I gesture to his body.

He blows the smoke from his nose and begins to laugh. "Do I?"

Peachy pats his arm. "She's not lying. Probably a paladin thing."

"Ah yes, the infamous menace of a paladin." He wrinkles his nose.

She rolls her eyes. "Here, let me try. What do I have to do?"

"Pull the smoke into your mouth. Don't inhale it. The point is the mouthfeel."

She takes a drag and immediately begins coughing, then hands it back. "Nope..." She wheezes.

He shakes his head and takes another puff, turning back to me. "There is a redoubt not far from here. I was able to help the locals. The cigars were a gift."

"The best use of that good ol' paladin menace." I chuckle. "What was wrong with the locals?"

He grunts. "Internal political dissonance. It's a boring story."

Peachy grimaces. "I wouldn't speak about it so flippantly." She turns to me. "My people were in danger. The druids who occupied the redoubt were left in unqualified hands after their First Druid left. We had to step in and correct it, otherwise they were going to get us killed, and doom themselves." She pauses and her tail flicks behind her. "It wasn't elegant... but it was effective."

"How did you end up stopping them?"

"We organized a coup," she says. "It was the only way, considering how desperate things had gotten."

"A whole coup? A coup? On a druid circle?"

"Yes." Spooks stares at his cigar, rolling it between his fingers.

I sit back. "Oh. Well. I hope everyone is okay."

Peachy gives me a vague smile. "Things are better now that everything has settled."

"Good to hear. So, what are you up to now?"

"Looking for a cure," Spooks says. "That's our main objective."

I close my eyes and sigh. "Thank the gods... I have enough on my plate. The worm isn't doing me any favors when it comes to existential threats."

"I can imagine," he says. "We're on our way to find a githyanki crèche. They supposedly have a cure. I hesitate to be hopeful, given our luck lately."

"Hey! Can't be worse than nothing, am I right?"

He smiles, holding his cigar to his mouth. "Right."

"In that case." I tap the ashes out and get to my feet. "I best be getting some sleep. I want to be fresh and ready for the morning!"

They give me a nod and a wave, and I head to my tent. As I tuck myself in, my mind is racing. I shut my eyes tight and try hard to drift off to...