Days.

Weeks.

...months.

Time didn't seem to exist in Avernus.

I remember standing on the edge of the city, watching souls drifting by in the River Styx. The screams no longer curdled my blood like they used to. My hand was resting on the side of the chain. The metal rings were meters wide, and hot to the touch. I'd gotten used to the heat.

They said that was the first sign of turning.

I hadn't told Danis.

My scalp had started to itch. There was pressure at the base of my spine. I was in denial for a while, but it was something I couldn't ignore anymore.

I was cursed.

Like so many others.

I couldn't stand the idea of him looking at me with pity. Yet, I was changing all the same.

I heard the rumble of a war machine careening down the streets and immediately took cover.

Devils were everywhere. Scouring for survivors. Many of us were taken. Those who could serve the war were put to work. There was a contingency of survivors that hid in the sewers. That's where Danis and I lived in relative peace.

I slipped into a hole that channeled down into a reservoir. The stench of putrid feces was everywhere, but it was paltry compared to the more imminent problems.

It was the smell of hell. Nothing more.

"Darling." Danis smiled as I stumbled down the catwalk. We hid in a modest alcove with several others.

I smiled back. It's all I had to give him. "I couldn't find any food today."

He was rail thin, but still, somehow clung to hope. "It's okay. Perhaps tomorrow. I was able to boil some sewage for water. Here."

He handed me a glass and I drank readily. It was potable, but it tasted like rot and ash in my mouth. I choked it down and shuddered. "Hopefully I can find some material so we can catch steam." I said weakly.

He put a hand on my back and I folded myself into his arms.

The memories sit on the edges of my mind. Still close enough to feel.

We hear a crash and a sloshing sound.

"You idiot!"

Renren Phain stands over a man who has knocked over a water reserve. People dive onto the ground, trying to suck it up before it seeps through the cracks. They barely get their tongues wet. Phain points at two gawking men. "Take him to the road and leave him for Mad Maggie!"

"What? NO!"

We hear the rumble of Mad Maggie's war machine in the distance.

He's dragged onto the streets. The manhole sealed tightly behind him. We hear wild cackling and the man begins to scream. Danis clings to me. "This is why I don't like you going up there."

"What else are we going to do? Starve?"

"No. I should be the one searching."

"You have no experience." I snap. "I'm a Ranger. You know this. I don't want to talk about it anymore." I turn my head, hoping not to hear his voice. After everything I've done, the gratitude I get is that I shouldn't be doing it. Sometimes he makes me so fucking angry.

I look at his hands. They're trembling. He's not cross with me, he's only hungry.

My shoulders fall. "Danis..." I say softly, placing his palm on my cheek.

He smiles and puts his forehead on mine.

"Danis. I'm changing."

He grimaces and places his arm around my waist. "I've seen you scratching your forehead. Shifting where you sit. I was wondering how long it was going to take you before you told me."

I glance up at him.

He kisses me gently and whispers. "You'll always be beautiful to me. We're in this together."

My chest wrenches. I never thought wouldn't be beautiful.

He embraces me.

Our little group is finally able to connect with a larger community of survivors under the protection of Ravengard himself.

We create a communication network with some volunteers who can wildshape. I've never seen them change. They've learned to hide before they do. There have been too many incidents of people trying to hunt them, mad with hunger.

I sit quietly on my bedroll, holding Tanzy, staring at her as my belly aches. I take her claw in hand and look at it. She smells like fresh ocean. It only makes me hungrier.

If I kill her, she'll vanish.

But I like to look at her, and imagine...

"Honey?"

I quickly dismiss her. "Yes, darling?"

Danis walks into our little nook. "Ravengard said the rations are ready to collect. I'll be traveling to the central chamber."

It's a large junction under the city where the sewers converge.

"Let me come with."

"Of course, darling." He gives me a hesitant kiss on the forehead.

I throw a tattered satchel over my shoulder. The strap gets caught on my horns and I grunt in frustration, pulling it carefully over my head. I take his hand and scratch at my forehead gently. My fingernails are growing into soft, sharp claws. My tail is a thick nub that hangs off my backside and seems to already have a mind of its own.

Danis glances at my horns briefly. He's told me he doesn't care. He cares. He's already been treating me differently. I see the look in his eyes that I'd been dreading. I've seen it more than once.

We make it to the central chamber and stand in line. Families cling to each other as we move to the front. We receive our parcel and quickly make our way back. We sit around a small pile of trash. Danis pulls a flint stone from his pocket and tries to strike a fire, but his hands are shaking too much. He can't get a spark.

I place my hand on his wrist. "I... I think I can help. I've been practicing."

"Practicing? Practicing what?"

I hold up my hand and snap. Nothing happens.

He looks at me and I press my lips thin. I snap again, and a blue flame lights my hand.

"Gods!" He grabs a blanket and covers it, trying to douse the flame.

"No, no! Darling, stop! Look." I pull the blanket off and hold out my hand. "Zariel tieflings. They... we... can conjure flame."

He looks at my burning hand, the blue light reflecting off the creases in his face. "O-oh..." He recoils, sitting back.

I drip the flames onto the trash and it ignites.

I grab the parcel of meat and skewer it, holding it over the fire. It turns golden brown and the smell is unbearable. It's sweet and savory, though there is a hint of sulfur to it. I tell myself it's just the stench of Avernus.

We split the meager piece between us and eat it slowly.

It's gamey. Not like any meat I've had before. What in the hells could it be? Hellsboar probably. Though the question nags at the back of my mind.

...do I want to know...

...

The community is at rest. There are a few people gathered, guarding, talking amongst themselves. Making the best with what they have.

I'm wearing a stinking cloak. The hood pulled over my horns as I move past. I make my way toward the rations station. I duck into the shadows, sitting behind some crates. I wait and finally see the last few staff members walking past, leaving the station unoccupied. I crawl between the crates and find the chest where they keep the butchered meat.

My heart sinks, and I grow sick. I don't want to be here. I don't want to know. I place my hand on the lid and slowly begin to open it.

I'm staring into a chasm of flesh, tongue dragging along the bottom, large of fleshy. Teeth lining the edges. The tongue whips out and grabs me by the neck, dragging me in, and snapping closed.

My breath grows heavy and I begin to scream, kicking and thrashing. It doesn't budge. Trapped inside a mimic. I curl up and begin to sob quietly. What a fucking miserable way to die...

Hours pass and I finally hear voices outside. I can barely make out what is being said.

"Gods. You could have cleaned up a little better. This place is a mess! This might be the hells, but you can have a little more dignity."

"Hush up. It ain't hurting nothing. Are you suddenly city inspector of the sewage cleanliness committee?"

"Big words for someone with half a brain. Now shut up and check those traps. The people are hungry."

Footsteps approach, and I hear a knocking on the lid of the mimic. "Come on Bruno. Open up."

The lid slowly rises. A bright light shines down on me. I shade my eyes.

"Ugh. She's a skinny one. Half changed. Maybe she won't taste as bad as the last tiefling."

My muscles go stiff and the lid falls back. The man is large. Huge harry arms lift me up like a ragdoll.

"No." I croak.

"What's that, lovely?"

"No!" I slash his face with my claws. He immediately drops me and I stagger forward. The other man dives for me. I dodge his grip, heart racing, mind blank. I run. I don't stop running until I make it back to camp.

"Danis!" I cry, breath heaving, limbs numb. He's gone. "Danis?" I look around frantically and find nothing. "Danis!!!" My voice echoes through the sewers.

"Quiet!" I hear a weary voice call back from another camp.

I follow it. "Danis... I need to find Danis."

A weary woman rolls over and looks at me. "Gods, Bex. Can't you see I'm wallowing right now?" She says in a bleary voice.

Lihala. She's a bard, though none of us knew that until recently. She only just started playing her lute again since finding a girl named Alfira. She plays for her just so she can hear Alfira sing.

A small spark of joy in the bleakest place imaginable.

She rubs her eye. "Danis? Oh gods, is he not at your camp?"

"No." I breathe.

"Damn it... I told him not to go."

"Go?" I say sharply. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"He went above ground looking for you after you didn't return last night."

My jaw goes stiff and I stomp toward the ladder that leads to the manhole. I carefully lift the lid and get a blast of hot air that dries my eyes. I blink a few times and look around. Nothing.

I finally slide the lid open and climb onto the road. I tightly pull my cloak around my shoulders and push the manhole cover back into place. I march. Furious. Worried. Terrified... heartbroken.

My thoughts oscillate between him deserving whatever fate he got and immediately feeling guilty for thinking such a terrible thing for a man who was only trying to save me. A stupid man. An ignorant man. A loving man.

I swear on Waukeen's Coin Purse that if I find him alive, I'll kill him with my bare hands.

The rumbling begins. A wild whirring of belching souls fueling an infernal war machine. The tires skid across the streets as it drifts around the corner, gaining traction and then roaring straight towards me.

Mad Maggie.

I dive out of the way and land on my hands as she screams past, screeching to a halt, skid marks leaving lines in the cobbled road.

The machine rumbles as her golem, Mickey, hops down. A tube of flesh hangs from where his mouth should be. Horns curl from the top of his head. He lumbers toward me like a gnoll on the hunt.

"Grrglglgggglll." He stands over me, shadow cast across my body. A relief from the heat.

"Mickey." I murmur.

"Grrggll." He tilts his head and helps me stand.

Mad Maggie calls from the machine. "Bexy Bexy Beauty Girl! Rat running again?" She slowly rolls forward, parking near me.

"I've come to retrieve a man you may have recently snatched up. Blonde hair. Pale skin. A high elf."

"Oooooh. A handsome one." She places a haughty hand on her hip. "Maybe I did. I'm not sure."

"Glglglggg." Mickey turns fully toward Maggie.

She rolls her eyes. "Just because she pulled a bone from your foot, doesn't mean she's your mother now."

Mickey taps his foot on the ground. "Ggrrrrr." He crouches next to me, and I run my hand over the top of his head. He closes his eyes and falls still.

She throws her hands in the air. "Well. What do you want with him, anyway?"

"He's my next meal."

"Hah! Upgraded from rats to men. I was wondering when you'd join the low lives in those damned sewers. I can give him back, but I want something in return."

I watch her as I continue to stroke Mickey's head.

"Ravengard. Bring me Ravengard and you can have him."

"I give you Ravengard, and you give me Danis Aldwick back alive and unharmed."

"It has a name, does it? Danis Aldwick. How annoyingly posh." She sneers. "I don't know about unharmed. That may already be a non-starter."

My shoulders rise. "...I will bring you raven guard, and you return Danis Aldwick to me alive with no further harm than he has at this very moment."

"So specific." She grins wide. "I like it. A woman who knows a contract. Very well! It's an accord. You know where to find me, deary!" She grips the steering wheel. "Mickey!!!"

He stands abruptly.

"Let's move out!"

He runs over and hops onto the war machine. The tires screech as they jet off, leaving the stench of rubber and wild cackling in their wake.

I sit with my knees to my chest, staring at the stagnant light conjured by someone in camp. Soft music plucking away. Lihala and Alfira are putting on a quiet performance.

"O sing a song of Elturel

And fields green and still..."

Alfira's voice makes my hair stand on end. It's lovely. I close my eyes and breathe the words. A song I've known since I was a child. I can't feel anything but the pit in my stomach knowing Danis is somewhere above in the custody of Mad Maggie. Torm knows what's happening to him right now. I dare not even guess.

Renren Phain sits preening his arm feathers. The song finishes and he glances at Alfira with his head cocked to the side. "Lovely song, Alfira. Well done."

"Yes, it truly was." I say.

Alfira smiles into her curls. "Thank you." She turns her head and places a hand on her cheek.

There is a short silence, and I drop one of my legs, hugging my knee. "You know what I really miss? Steamed cabbage with butter and just the right amount of salt."

"Gods, don't start talking about food." Lihala says, her shoulders dropping. "Here Alfira, take my lute. Save yourself."

Alfira laughs softly and takes it, giving me a quick glance. "I miss eggs. I don't know why, but every time I think about food, I start craving eggs."

Lihala shakes her head. "Do none of you have any spirit? What about cake? Cake! The single most perfect food in Faerûn."

"Pfft." I wave my hand. "Cake. Too indulgent. What about crab, straight from the water?"

"You criticize me for being indulgent then speak of crab!" Lihala snorts. "Although... steamed and buttered. Gods." She hangs her head. "Gods, I miss food." She runs a hand across her stomach.

Alfira puts a hand on her back and Lihala smiles up at her. "Go practice." She says with a nod.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Please, Lihala is fine. Don't make me an old woman yet. I'm not ready!" She grins as Alfira walks off to a corner to practice.

I turn to Renren. "What do you miss, Mr. Phain?"

"Me?" He shifts in his seat. "I don't think it's fair to ask me to pick. A silly question all the same. There is no food here. Why bother thinking about it?" He stands and walks toward his bedroll.

My lips go straight as Lihala and I share a glance.

Hours pass, and most of the camp is asleep. There is a soft tapping in the shadows near Renren's camp. His eyes open and he abruptly sits up, looking around. A small orange creature shifts through the dim light before disappearing once again.

He cautiously gets to his feet, stepping lightly toward the movement. It shifts again, and he's able to catch a glimpse of a glistening crab.

Tanzy begins to skitter and Renren immediately chases after her. She darts from shadow to shadow, leading him to the ladder of the manhole. She climbs, hopping the rungs. Renren is right behind her, eyes wild with hunger. She clears the hole and makes it onto the streets, dashing toward the rubble of a fallen tower.

He peeks out and searches the road, spotting her ducking behind a large stone. He squawks and stumbles onto the street, staggering after her.

A sharp cackle rises from the desolation. Renren slows to a halt, feathers standing on end. "No!"

Mickey snatches him from behind. Renren begins crowing and flailing.

I step out with Tanzy in hand.

Mad Maggie emerges with Danis gripped tightly by the arm. "What's this? This isn't Ravengard!"

"Yes. He is a raven guard. A deal's a deal."

She stares at the flailing kenku for a moment, then begins laughing wildly, stomping her feet. "You sneaky bitch! You truly are a woman who knows a contract!"

She tosses Danis to the ground. He lands hard on the road.

I dash over to him. "Danis."

His mouth is too dry to speak.

"We need to go." I help him to the manhole, and he climbs down steadily.

Mickey drags Renren to Mad Maggie's war machine. Two kenku sit on the bumper squawking and kicking their feet. "Chukka, Clonk! Look at that. You have a new apprentice! Make sure to get his hands dirty, he looks like a soft one."

Chukka warbles in a stony voice. "He's got good bones. We'll make a mechanic out of him yet!"

"What? Mechanic?!" Renren is dragged onto the war machine and the engine rumbles wildly before Maggie points her wretched finger at me. "I'll tolerate this blunder, beauty girl! But I better not catch you up here again."

My chin curls, and I quickly climb down after Danis, slamming the manhole shut.

I'm not vindictive. But when you're in Avernus, the only law is survival. Either you do or you don't. And I can't live if I don't know that he's safe. Vash says survival is not a personality trait, but I disagree. It's what I'm best at, and I've used every ounce of it to protect my husband. Often from himself.

But now things are different. We've weathered the worst, and yet I don't feel relief. I feel grief. It doesn't end. It makes me feel like I'm holding on to an idea of what life should be, when it's anything but. Perfect. Perhaps safe is as close to perfect as we can get.

I feel myself being lifted to my feet. The smell of the goblin camp returning to the forefront of my mind. An arm folds under the bends of my knees and I'm being lifted. I'm limp in his arms.

I blink and stare into his face. He's watching the path ahead; brow creased, lips tight. He's quiet but he's moving quickly. The goblins have finished binding Minthara and dragging her onto a litter. As we break through the doors of the temple, the sun hits my face and I wince.

An owl bear cub sits crying as Karlach and Lae'zel comfort it. Karlach breaks its chain and Lae'zel coos softly.

Karlach's voice trails after us. "Vash! Is Bex okay?"

He doesn't break focus.

I look at Vash's hands, burned and trembling as he carries me across the bridge and down the path towards camp.

The memory of Avernus begins to fade. Mad Maggie's laughter. The fate of Renren Phain. The restoration of Elturel to the material plane. It happened not long after that day.

The world kept turning then, and it's turning still.

My mind falls quiet and my body goes numb. I press my hand into his back as he walks, and everything falls into place.

The ordinance so meticulously outlined by Astarion. It was always going to end like this.

He glances down at me. My words are soft, but certain.

"The Emerald Grove is yours..."