Return of the Witness
All Sexual Gratuity Has Been Removed
I am proud of that.
I have consolidated Chapters 20 and Chapter 21 into a single chapter, so all chapters after have been renumbered. (Clean cup, move down.)
I have added scenes to better support the coup in Chapters 3, 5, 6, and 12. Consolidated link of coup scenes here.
This rework now introduces two new major characters. Hembry and Emila.
There are still changes that need to be made, but nothing as structural as what I worked on this past month.
However, because of this, I will give my self one more week to work on Act 1.
Chapter 32 will be published March 30th. After that, the goal is to return to my weekly publishing schedule.
It feels fantastic to be publishing new chapters once again.
Thank you for sticking with me and this living work.
The Count Down
I am not ready. Here's another promo picture.
Grey is better than blue. May it be writ in the sands of time.
A E S T H E T I C
It's not huge, but it is correct.
New Cover Art
And of course, for my Dungeon Master.
I'll see myself out.
Trigger Warning: Hiatus
Yesterday I announced that Desolate Oath will be entering a one month refinement phase.
While I've been making adjustments along the way, revisiting Chapter 8 and attempting to draft Chapter 32 forced a necessary reckoning. I need to step back and reassess what Desolate Oath is, and course correct for what I want it to become.
Right now, the story is operating at a relentless intensity. Vash is juggling nearly thirty unresolved threads, and we haven't even reached the creche. The scale of his arc is larger than the pacing currently allows, and I want the structure to match the ambition.
This month will be spent tightening foundations, clarifying trajectory, and giving the story the control it deserves.
Here is the plan:
- Reformat the website.
- Reconstruct key chapters.
- Adjust pacing and structural cohesion.
- Add necessary breathing room (without losing tension.)
- Rebalance the relationship between campaign fidelity and narrative autonomy. This is a BG3 fanfiction, but it does not need to be a beat-for-beat campaign transcript.
- Reduce or remove select sex scenes.
- Narrow and focus the violence while staying true to the Dark Urge.
Possibly change Vash's eye color from gold to blue. A small detail, but details matter.
Eyes are staying gold. So it shall be written, so it shall be done.
I'll also be taking time to complete a full Baldur's Gate 3 campaign again. (It takes me 3 days to complete an entire campaign.) I've logged roughly 4,000 hours as the Dark Urge, but I haven't finished a campaign since Patch 8, and I've never completed one as a sorcadin. A shame given the Dark Urge was intended to be a paladin multiclassed into a sorcerer, or visa versa.
(I usually play as a Gloomstalker Ranger/Rogue Assassin/War Cleric. Morgana Evelyn's build. Because crunchy thunder death is extremely satisfying. This build is extremely OP.)
Thank you for your continued support. The project continues!
Much love.
My Claustrophobic Cradle
I've gotten this question a few times, so here it is.
I do not decompress after writing Desolate Oath.
Desolate Oath is my decompression.
That is all, have a nice day.
Chapter 27 - Deleted Scenes
The Vash/Bex intimacy scene was reworked because he was basically ravaging a paper doll. I needed to give Bex more agency, and I needed to give Vash a cold shower.
The quasit exposition was removed because it was generally unnecessary. (Maybe I will peel it back and slap it in a later chapter.)
Scene Summary
Bex: I'm sad and feel ugly.
Vash: Hey, hey. Listen. Here's some philosophy to help reframe your grief into something I'm not utterly drowning in. Can we make out now?
Bex: Okay. :3
Vash: OM NOM NOM.
Awww. I lost my boner because I'm thinking about my dad again.
Crackerjacks.Bex: Awk. I'm gunna go hang out with my husband. :/
Vash: *sad mustache* :(
Here are the actual deleted scenes.
"You're right." Her body relaxes, as if unburdening herself of a heavy yoke.
"Still, I miss my bakery. People would line up every morning to buy fresh pastries, straight from the oven."
She looks at her hand in mine. "Sometimes, I wake to the smell of cinnamon rolls and cookies, only to open my eyes to see whatever godsforsaken trail we're on and realize it's all gone."
Her face tightens, pained by the memories.
"Every tap of my tail, every time my horns catch, every time I brush my hand over the knobs in my skin, it reminds me of what I lost."
The weight of the air holds us to the moment.
"I wish you could have been there." Her eyes become black wells that refuse to fall. "I just want my perfect world back."
"Bex." I shake my head. "Men like me do not exist in perfect worlds."
She brushes her sleeve over her eyes, watching me.
I allow my hands to drift to her sides. "This is not a perfect world."
She hesitates but gently grasps my arms. "It never was, was it?"
"The world is unbalanced," I murmur. "But it gives us a perspective that perfection lacks. We can see what is truly dear to us."
Bex meets my eye. My thumb chases away a drifting tear. My hand trembles despite myself. I finally brush my fingers through her soft curls and her head dips with a reticent smile. I pull her into me and lean down, brushing my lips against her cheek. Her pulse quickens and I feel her sigh. I cradle her head, and with a heavy inhale, I firmly kiss the curve of her neck, as if to drink the air around her. I'm hungry. My tail lashes. Her body falls loose in my hands, and she breathes the softest moan. My fingers grow hot as our infernal nature thrums with longing.
I try to savor her, saturated with her sweet chamomile scent, but the wrenching fear from that night at the willow crashes into my desire like a storm.
Everything slips through my fingers in an instant.
Four days since Alfira's murder. Six days before I kill again.
I pull back.
She holds me, wanting to be in my arms.
Euphoria.
Dread.
I need to make a sacrifice.
She squeezes my arms, lightly. "Vash, are you alright?"
My face has fallen. I'm only just noticing. I take her hand and kiss her fingers. "It's nothing."
Her smile is compassionate, something I don't deserve. "Sometimes I wish I could read your mind." She lingers, before giving my hand a squeeze. "We should go."
My stomach turns and I nod, silently. She leaves. I allow myself a moment, then follow.
-
Bex has taken her place next to Danis, but glances at me as I emerge.
Astarion raises his eyebrows, still locked onto his book.
"Karlach." I say, seating myself next to him. "I wanted to ask you about Shovel. You seemed troubled."
"Well, it's just..." She gives me a guilty grin. "Quasits don't bond unless you're... y'know." She gestures toward me. "A certain kind of person."
I lift my brows, blankly tracking her.
She sits with my silence before letting out a heavy breath. "Look, Spooks. My time in Avernus gave me front row seats to the quasit experience. They're sneaky, mean, and bloodthirsty." She gesticulates, showing as much as she’s telling about quasit nature. "I won't judge you for having her as a familiar, but I suggest you be careful."
"Careful? Why?"
Karlach's face contorts as she struggles to find the words. "Quasits ally themselves with anyone who can feed them, keep them busy..." Her lips straighten. "...and anyone mean enough to keep'em in line. The second she smells someone bigger and meaner than you, she's gone." She stammers. "Not to say you're mean or anything!"
I wonder what made Ilyn Toth so powerful that it kept Shovel loyal? Have I already crossed that threshold...
I glance back to Karlach. "Thank you for the warning. I'll be sure to keep an eye on her going forward."
She nods. "I'd hate to see something bad happen to you. We gotta look out for each other."
"Naturally," I say with gratitude.
Organ Failure
I mentioned on AO3 that I was having an organ removed. It was my gallblader. Oxy edited/wrote chapters 27, 28, and 29.
Who Is Vash Neel?
Vashneel is an old OC of mine that I created ~20 years ago. He is my favorite out of the many characters I've created. It's been my biggest desire to write a book about his lore.
When I started playing Baldur's Gate 3, his story parallelled the Dark Urge frighteningly well, so I named my Dark Urge Vash Neel and left it at that. However, the lore behind Vash is different enough where I wouldn't be able to break him away from the Baldur's Gate 3 canon and squeeze it into what his story was meant to be. I will have to write his original lore from scratch. I am not mad about that.
This means I could turn Vash Neel's story into an original work and still have a cogent story for "Vashneel" as a separate project. This notion entices me. As long as I can keep my stomach for writing. At this point, it's still engaging (Read: Addictive.)
This is still a new hobby; I started writing in July, 2025. Though, I've been creating stories for years. I've been living under the very vivid understanding that if I were to die, all my stories would die with me. I have several. I'm just glad my mind has finally caught up with my desires and I'm doing it now.
I've been writing like a thirsty man who's finally found an oasis in the sands of time. Surrounded by desolation. And yet I drink.
I am pleased.